There is a place I covet in my mind that brings serenity and release. I didn't know this was so until I was led through a sort of meditation and was prompted to rediscover this place behind my closed eyes. Since then, I return to that place weekly, eyes closed, and feel the feels, touch the touches, smell the smells and hear the sounds. I shared about this place to my male comrade who simply asserted that we ought to go there.
Well of course. We ought to go there. How completely obvious and yet hidden from view this option was. A few weekends ago was THE weekend, and after a half day's drive, we were practically there.
I was born in Oregon. I like to fantasize that this gives me some sort of divine right to call myself a native, to say to people that I am from there. Alas, I can't really pull that off. Funny thing- as a kid I became quite concerned when the Beach Boys "California Girls" song would come on that perhaps I wasn't a California girl because I was born elsewhere. I was assured I could be grouped in with the CA girls. Now, I pine for it. It sits there above my state, being all gorgeous and lovely, taunting me and calling me like a Siren. And here I'm stuck. Now more than ever. Unwilling to leave family, anchored by my children's needs for stability in this shitty chaos.
Mountain air is not the same as town air. Have you noticed that warm has a smell? I want to know
Our hiking totaled about 14 miles. My shins and hips complained for a few days afterward. I hesitated washing the dirt off my body, wearing it like a proud badge of Oregonian honor. The next day we met up with a man who I haven't seen since I was....5? Maybe 7? We got to share stories a bit and I sat in the weird reality of being an adult with kids, the very scenarios that we could remember are happening to our children now and WE are the facilitators. I was left wanting more, to stay forever.
I felt that way for the whole week after returning home. I was a bit mopey. Emotional. Stuck. I get a little relief that it is right there, just North. I can drive there in a day.