Saturday, May 18, 2013

"Good night, Mom"

"I love you, good night baby."

"I love you too, good night Mom."

That "Mom" is me.  Is it weird that I am still caught off guard by "Mom" used in reference to myself?  It's been 3 years, 2 of those with verbal affirmation from the child herself that yes, I am "Mom".
As a kiddo I saw my Mom as having it all figured out.  I didn't doubt her motives and I assumed that it was all just second nature to her.  It may have been.  I certainly don't feel that way.  I feel like every day is another parenting challenge met and then, after she's in bed, I sit and question all the Ro-related choices I made and criticize myself into vowing that tomorrow I'll do better.

I know I'm not alone.  I imagine it's the nature of motherhood.  There's that word again, "mother".  It carries so much weight.  Heavy, hefty, loaded and smothering weight.  Aren't I just a child myself?  No?  I sure don't see myself as a 'grown up'.  But aren't grown-ups the only sort of people who can raise kids (I just snorted a little)?

I might need to take a philosophy class to sort it all out, this is getting intense.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

One a Day in May

Another  blogger made a list of thing to blog about.  Specifically one for each day in May.  If you wanna play too, here's her site:


Yeah, so that's my second born.  You could say we bought her, she cost upward of $700 dollars.  I suppose what we actually bought was an experience and peace of mind.  I got tests, appointments and all the staff I could possibly need to birth and then hang out at a fairly comfortable hospital.  All things considered, she was as screaming deal.