"I love you, good night baby."
"I love you too, good night Mom."
That "Mom" is me. Is it weird that I am still caught off guard by "Mom" used in reference to myself? It's been 3 years, 2 of those with verbal affirmation from the child herself that yes, I am "Mom".
As a kiddo I saw my Mom as having it all figured out. I didn't doubt her motives and I assumed that it was all just second nature to her. It may have been. I certainly don't feel that way. I feel like every day is another parenting challenge met and then, after she's in bed, I sit and question all the Ro-related choices I made and criticize myself into vowing that tomorrow I'll do better.
I know I'm not alone. I imagine it's the nature of motherhood. There's that word again, "mother". It carries so much weight. Heavy, hefty, loaded and smothering weight. Aren't I just a child myself? No? I sure don't see myself as a 'grown up'. But aren't grown-ups the only sort of people who can raise kids (I just snorted a little)?
I might need to take a philosophy class to sort it all out, this is getting intense.