Friday, December 7, 2012
I get asked every year what I want to do for my birthday. Truth is, I can no more pull that answer out of my brain than spin straw into gold. Is it the near complete giving up of myself to show up fully for my kid that as shoved the possibility of 'doing for me' out the window? For 364 days I check out of "Mel" and into "Mom" and that's a hard habit to break. I don't even want to talk about the unjustifiable guilt, sheesh. If I do come up with something it's extravagant. As in, "keep dreaming sister". In which case I don't bother to bring it up and wave around the fact that what I really want we can't afford.
Let's just say I want a day to myself. Well, what now? Do I sit on my keester and watch re-runs of Top Chef? 'Cause really, a day to myself sounds like heaven in that all the dishes would be done, laundry put away, floors scrubbed, base boards wiped, windows shined, E's work shirts ironed....happy birthday to me!
I'd rather my birthday just went by without any obligations, without any guilt that E spent money on something which is really our money so it's not like some free and clear gift.