Girls Night In & S'Mores

 Last night was girl's night.  I can't tell you the last time this happened in my life.  I actually can't.  I have no clue.  I used to think that there was no difference between a girl's night and a regular gathering of friends, therapy-wise.  I was wrong.  Girl's night is great therapy.
Last night was also the first time I've left Rosanna and not had feelings of dread, guilt, trepidation, angst, sorrow, regret, well you get the idea.  I discovered being a mommy AND having me-time.  You may be saying, "duh" and possibly you are correct.  Consider, however, that a month ago I had no desire to have me-time.  I was totally mommified (new word).  My gut felt like: me-time is time that I could be with my baby, and what is better than being with my baby?  Nothing.   And just like that, me-time died.
So today comes with new realizations.  The kind that older and wiser beings tell you over and over but that you have to experience for yourself to really get it.  I can be 'mommy' and be 'me'.  In fact, I don't have to distinguish the two.  Who I am in this moment is 'me' with some awesome upgrades (see: mom).
And I had fun!  Un-clung (baby reference) fun.  I chatted with girlfriends without my eyes darting about, tracking my crawler.   I WORE EARRINGS!  Then, a few hours later, I reconnected with my little bundle- and it was ok.

On a different note, I made S'Mores bars.  I know!  I was excited too!  I envisioned lovely rectangular bars, layered in chocolate and white marshmallow.  I heard people ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the magnificence I had created.  Dream big!
First I made a dough with graham cracker dust (I accomplished 'dust' by putting them in a big ziplock and using a rolling pin on them).  Then half of it goes into the bottom of a baking dish that I lined with parchment paper.

 Then, cover the whole thing with chocolate bars.  I used the mini hershey bars, this way I could make sure every nook got covered.

Next,the fluff!  Spread the marshmallow alllll over.  I found that it was easier after microwaving the fluff for 10 seconds.

Now it gets tricky.  The rest of the dough needs to get on top.  So I ended up pressing it out onto the lid for this pan, then flipping the lid upside down over the bar pan....and it worked!

 While it was in the oven, Jazzy Belle reminded me of how wonderful it is to be a cat:

Tada!!  The next trick is to leave it alone until it cools ALL the way.  I dare you...

After I pulled it out, using my handy dandy parchment paper, I cut into it and *gasp* beautiful, dreamy laters!

My excitement didn't last long though, upon cutting them up into lovely little bars I discovered they weren't interested in being bars.  They wanted to be free flowing, undefined by straight-edged boundaries- in short I didn't realize I was making a hippie dish.

So here is where I called Kristi- she was the host of girls night.  I let her know my predicament: my finger food was now a goopy mess.  Every bite would result in marshmallowy fingers.  What do I do?  WHAM!  I got knocked back down to earth via Kristi's account of how I did not have problems.  So true, so true.  So I arrived with my mess and people ate it.  Not only that- they liked it!  Hooray!  It was a far cry from my original dream, and that was ok.

Do you wanna make these S'Mores Bars?  I found the recipe at The Hungry Mouse: http://www.thehungrymouse.com/2010/06/05/smores-bars/

Sweet Face!

It's no secret. I love her.  It's a scary, "I have so much to lose" kind of love. Contrariwise (ode to Alice) she is a reason to live, to take care of myself, to demonstrate faith in humanity. 

Her grandpa calls her the "happy pill".  It's practically impossible to be in her presence and maintain a grumpy attitude.  That's just how cool she is.

She's my baby.  A person that we made!  I still find it difficult to fathom how this is possible.  What a miracle.  An outrageously beautiful miracle.  I love her SO much that I can feel it in my belly, down to my toes. 

I just can't get enough!  And neither can her daddy...

 

the "dinner party"

We love our friends.  LOVE them.  Not only are they an amazing addition to our lives, they get our house clean too.  Of all the motivators that exist for us, perhaps none is as powerful as the "dinner party".  We joke that our house would never be clean if we never had people over.  Except it's not really a joke.  I know some of you are saying, "It can't be that bad"  and "Give yourself a break, you have a baby!" but consider this: some of these messes have been around since before she joined our family.  Eek!
This realization is not without embarrassment.  I mean, I'm not a teenager so why can't I keep my room clean?  Thankfully I know.  Messes are how I have control.  I keep things as comfort.  Getting rid of these things gives me anxiety (see my FB note about the 100 Things Challenge).  I use things to keep safe from having responsibilities, from being a big girl, from being exposed.  I have a commitment to break free of this cycle.  Having friends over helps.
You have never seen a girl clean up in a hurry like me.  In 30 minutes I create magic.  In 30 minutes I am in a house that I feel proud of!  So let's keep it up, huh?  I can devote 30 minutes a day, right?  I'm pumped, I mean, the results are freeing!  Check it out:

Before

After

(and Ethan brought me home flowers!!)

Voila!!  Now we have a place to sit and eat dinner with our peeps.  A place for everything and everything in it's place...

Before

After

 Great, now there is some space to actually cook and create this dinner.  By the way, we had burritos and rice.  Yum!  Finished with cookies from The Cookie Connection.

Before

After

 Clothes?  Put away.  Baby toys?  Boxed.  BAM!

Before

After

 Nice, huh?  I hope you are as excited about my cleaning as I am.  Please refrain from asking how the bedrooms look.  This is not what we are here to talk about.  

Lastly, here's our baby.  I just can't get enough of that sweetness :)

Late night shinanigans

I consider myself a 'guest chef' for my mom's dessert cafe (www.oldtowndessertcafe.com), and I've been collecting ideas for Halloween.  And finally- the time has come!  I got the green light to create Halloween themed treats!

Getting my thoughts in order was quite the process.  First, the easy part: bake.  When the counter was covered in mini cupcakes, chocolate and white that I dyed orange, I worked up some buttercream and went to town.  I made all kinds of wonderfulness:

Owls

Ghosts

Pumpkins

Cats

Eyeballs

 

Skulls

Spiders

Phew!  It was a lot of work!  I am quite pleased with the end result, I think they really have Halloween spirit!  Our kitchen suffered a bit.  Ethan joked that we were creating a dreamland for ants, a thought that had me verging on tears as I imagined waking up to my little creatures covered in little creatures.  This morning, however, we were ant free!!  Hooray!!  I think my creative bug has been satisfied for a few days...

One of many

Today is a doctor day.  I got a physical this morning in preparation of our impending health coverage cut-off, Ethan had his yesterday.  Later I'll be taking Ro to get checked out because I am a paranoid, perfect mommy who is afraid her baby is ill.
Even though her doctor time isn't until this afternoon, Rosanna joined us in getting stabbed with the flu virus.  She did better than I, not even a flinch.  The look on her face was severely disapproving, yet there were no tears.  I, however, felt like I wanted to cry. OUCH!  Was the nurse was so distracted by my beautiful child- they all were oogling, cooing and making scrunchy nosed faces- that she stuck me with too much force?  It sure felt that way *whimper*.  So while my arm is still throbbing (possible exaggeration) hours later, Ro is crawling vigorously around on her stuck leg.  I'm glad I created a child less wimpy than I.
Since then, she is waffling back and forth between tiredness and the excitement of the newly mobile.  This lovely combination results in faces like this:

This is what we call the "zoner" face.  "Baby Ro?  You in there?  Hello?"  Nothing.  She's in the zone.  It's just one of many faces that I scramble to capture on film everyday, and she keeps me plenty busy.  If you want to see my collection, set aside a few hours and come on by!   Our collection is brimming with 5,000+ pictures and I'd be happy to sit down and go through them with you, complete with full explanations and appropriate awed mommy noises for each.

Sharing is caring...

If you want to stay in my loop, (and why wouldn't you?) then you've come to the right place!  Later this week I'll be taking on decorating mini cupcakes to look like ghosts, witches hats, owls and spiders.  Yay!  Also, it's highly likely that we'll take a ridiculously cute picture of Rosanna and that will be here for you to see as well.  Love that girl!
Whaddya know, I found one!!

Thanks to Bethie and Kristi for paving the way to blogdom.  This makes so much more sense than leaving paragraphs on facebook :)