The List

I've been seeing these awesome lists in the blogging world.  Sort of like a bucket list, I see them as "get off your butt and do something" lists.  They make a person get up and get themselves out of their comfort zone, and that can only be a useful thing.  

Inspired, I stole from a bunch of lists and made my own collection.  It's a mish-mash of being in service and fulfilling some festering crafty-type needs.  I'm pretty proud of it.  For a few of the items I'm going to be reaching out and requesting your support, but I'll let you in on that later.  

So I think I'll give myself two months to obliterate this bad boy (possibly with the exception of the art-show and book).  I'll blog about each one as it gets crossed off "The List".  GAME ON!

1. Publish a magazine
2. Sell my art at a street fair-style event
3. Begin my volunteer journey (The Animal Place and Wild Things)
4. Sew my daughter a dress 
5. Throw a themed party
6. Run a half marathon in 3 hours or less (Disneyland, in September!)
7. Leave a note for a stranger
8. Submit a piece of writing for publication
9. Bake a tray of goodies for the local fire department
10. Make cards for a local nursing home
11. Purge T.V. for a week
12. Write thank-you notes to people who serve me: postman, garbage guy, etc.
13. Give all our old shoes to "Reuse-a-Shoe"
14. Visit the NICU with treats for the doctors and tired/anxious parents
15. Write/collect 100 letters for military service people and send them off: http://www.amillionthanks.org/
16. Smile at everyone all day- write about it
17. Make a no-sew fleece blanket
18. Leave presents anonymously on 10 doorsteps (flowers, notes, artwork, etc.)
19. Put up 10 "Take What You Need" signs
20. Write a toddler friendly vegan kids book (there seem to only be older-kid books with too much sadness in them)

And here's a little sweetness to round it out:

Day of Awe

Today left me in awe.

Let's start out at the farmer's market.  Saturday mornings always do.
I could hyperventilate- there's so much good stuff.  Cherries are overflowing from baskets, there's deep red and light yellow with a kiss of red.  There are peaches and nectarines in piles on table tops, Ro is anxiously touching them all because she recently discovered how good they are.  I bought golden beets and red beets, carrots and thai basil.  I loaded up on brilliant red strawberries and got a bag full of mushrooms as well.  That's not all: broccoli, garlic naan and some indian eggplant spread, squash and a few flowers made it back into my house as well.
Oh man, that's a happy fridge!

Then my wee-one and I headed out to a wedding.  Upon arriving we were overwhelmed with crowds, it turns out the wedding was taking place in the midst of the Western States 100 Mile Run.  At that point the runners had already been running for eighty miles.  EIGHTY MILES!!!  Holy crap.  These people were cruising along at a faster pace than if I were running my standard 3.3 mile loop, show offs.  I mean really, this is an incredible feat!  I can't even wrap my brain around it.  Just amazing.

Fast forward to the wedding: my daughter is running around with the other little ones, waiting for the ceremony to begin.  She approaches a girl who is smaller than her, bends to be face-to-face, puts each of her hands on the girls shoulders gently, barely, and says in a most loving soft voice, "What's your name?".  I could have cried.  Who is this kind, gentle child?  How she come to be under my care?  What did I do to deserve this toddler who is so amazing?  She completely blows me away every day.  I was stunned to see her stop running like a wild banshee and take a soft moment to include this other little girl.  I was SO very proud.  I wanted to get everyone's attention and point it out, to show them this little beam of bright, awesome light.  Gosh, dang it I just couldn't be more in love with her.

Sweet summer sunshine

Life is so exciting in the summer!  Outdoor activities are available around the clock and that means less possibility for screen time- yay!

We're stocking up on vitamin D lately by getting our swim lessons on,

taking weekly hikes with friends, 

losing the poundage by running (sorry, no picture of my sweaty awesomeness), attending festivals, 

playing with cousins, 

and other general liveliness. 

I know summer's only just begun, but I'm really digging it.  We've finished one round of swim lessons, the outdoor family movie nights have started back up (so far: Lion King and Cars), I'm actively training for a half marathon at Disneyland (in September) and my friend Alice and I get together weekly with our girls (they are 3 months apart in age) to hike and wander the wilderness.  Not to mention the weekly farmer's market on Saturday mornings where we get a Grandma Debi fix and where the past few weeks have been gearing up for an outrageously delicious fruit season.  I cannot wait to see what's available tomorrow morning!  

On another note, who replaced my kiddo with a 5 year old?  She's been saying the craziest things lately.  Some cute and some disturbing.  Like today when she told me to "shut up", like it was no big deal.  I can assure you that this language is not used in our house, and yet here it is, smacking me in the face as it flies out of her precious little mouth.  

Last week she told me matter-of-factly that she is pregnant.  

Yesterday, in the tub, she asked, "What's this?".  I told her, "It's where you go pee-pee from".  She asked Ethan, "Daddy do you have one like this?".  And then she asked me.  Oh, man- that came out of left field.  Who knew body-parts talk came at age two?  Not me.  Although, I don't really know when I expected it.

Lately, when E and I are using a "tone" with each other she is a firm request that we, "be nice to each other" and then follows it up with a, "Mommy, talk to Daddy".  Well played kid, well played.

She's nearly got the "Hakuna Mata" song down, it's really the only part of The Lion King that stuck in her brain (thankfully; you ever notice how dark that movie is?) and it's available to watch on youtube so....that's what we do.  I bet you can imagine how stinkin' cute it is to hear a toddler voice say, "It's a problem free, philosophy".  Yeah, it's cute.

She's obsessed with helping in the (tiniest) kitchen and I love it.  Most of the time.  

Yay summer!

Artist?

I got to hang with an old friend (an oldie, but a goodie) for a bit yesterday.  He came by to purchase a piece of my art and it just so happened to be lunch time, so he stayed and chatted.

It was through chatting that I got a bit closer to the heart of why I'm so uncomfortable putting a price tag on my work.  Or even calling the paintings I do, "my work" for that matter.

We all identify with certain labels in our life.  I, for example, call myself a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, cook, vegan, runner, hiker, writer, reader...I think you get the idea.  I feel like I can own those labels, rock them, if you will.

I see a person who sells their art and has their art on display as an artist.  Up until a week ago I did neither of those things.  So clearly, I wasn't an artist.  I kept my creations in the high shelf of my closet, not entirely sure why I was amassing them but sure that I wanted to continue making yet another.  A few weeks ago I was pretty proud of a painting I had done, I posted it on facebook (eek!) and the compliments came rolling in.  Not only that, but talk of selling the dang thing were swirling and I was a bit in shock.

Imaginary conversations like, "Oh, no-no-no-no-no.  You don't understand, I not an artist" where the person would reply, "Oh, I see.  Thank you for telling me!  I'll be on my way" would happen and I'd be relieved that I hadn't perpetrated a fraud on some poor confused soul.

As a result of my conversation yesterday, I realized that it's not up to me what art is to someone else.  Nothing special has to happen to a person for them to be an artist.  The space I put up between myself and "artists" is just that- an empty, meaningless (except I gave it meaning) space.

Consider that space gone.

Artists don't get dressed up to go to work....do they?

Kerblooey

Ever feel like your head is gonna explode because your kid has asked you the same question seven times in one minute even though you've answered her each time in a different way (just in case there was something about the previous way that she didn't get), and she is still asking with a sweet, innocent, honest little face?

That's me.

Up, up and away

Today I sent off two pieces of art work, and I'm receiving money for them!  This is a super exciting prospect for me, what if I could do this on the regular?

One of the pieces came together at a friend's kitchen table during one of our weekly crafty-time get togethers.  I never considered I would be offered cash for it.  I'm pretty honored and, well, flabbergasted really.

I have a complex where I see how much awesomer everyone else's art is and therefore that makes mine worthless.  It's obviously not true, and that's a really neat possibility for me.  Here are the pieces I sold, it was sorta weird to send them away from me, knowing I'd never see them again.  But I'm resolved that most of the money I can make selling art will go into Rosie's college fund and our retirement, so the sting is lessened.

E's turn for the grill....

Here's the man.  And his answers.

1. What was your first impression of me?  I’m not counting the 17yr old you, when we met Mason’s crazy cousin with the light-up wheels and shitty driving.  NYE party: whoa, cute chick and she brought me cookies! Score. Then I got demolished and hit on someone else.  3rd impression: cute mellow chick is still talking to me after last week’s party! Wonder why?
2. How accurate was your impression?  Cute and mellow and still makes me cookies, and still wonder why she’s into me… pretty spot on.
3. What is your idea of a truly romantic evening?  Your Hawaii beach scene totally works.  So do candles and wine and flowers.
4. If I promise not to get upset, can you tell me something you'd like to change in me but don't have the nerve to say?  Wish you came from lots of money.  I’d love if you could teach me to be mellow and grounded.  As far as changing you, I look forward to seeing you drop 20lbs again.  The recent FB pic of us is so hot.
5. If you weren't in the profession you are, what's your dream profession and why?  Always wanted to be an architect.  Last week’s Leadership Auburn intensive at the art gallery had me remember drafting and how fun it was.  Seeing something I designed built, going from my head to really existing, and people in it, would have been amazing.
6. Name three qualities that attracted you to me when you were getting to know me.   Grounded – not addicted to makeup, or labels, or expensive shit.  Adorable giggle and smile and sporatic snorts. Liked to make out in cars.
7. Where is your dream destination and why?  Maui.  It’s like Monterey except more awesome, cleaner, better weather, never hella hot like here.  I’ve always missed living by the ocean.
8. What's your favorite movie of all time and favorite scene in it?  Joe Dirt, when the dog freezes his nuts to the porch.  Only because it’s the scene I remember quoting the most, word for word, until you told me to shut up. 
9. Which fruit/vegetable do you think I resemble and why?  Kiwi.  Soft and kind of furry, not flashy on the outside, awesomely sweet inside.
10. Can you remember your earliest childhood memory of happiness/fear? Happy: reading my birthday cards on my 4th and wowing everyone. Fear: sleeping in the back bedroom in SLO after hearing the news report of whatever famous burglar was running amok in CA in the 80s.
11. Your favorite uncle/aunt/cousin and why:  Jeremy’s always been mellow and grounded and never tried to impress or be tougher or bigger or better than me. Felt closest to him since I can remember.  Proud of him for buying his first house, cried with him when he lost it, love getting his random mellow texts about kidraising and look forward to seeing him hopefully move back up here.
12. What qualities draw you to people to base friendship on?  Being transparent vs a bullshitter.  Integrity, sarcasm, jokes and laughter.  Liking beer!
13. Can you give me a mock session of how you'd discuss sex-ed with a child?  Shit. I think I’ll have you handle it, as I just got anxiety thinking about it for 5 seconds.  I’m so freaked about Ro discovering stupid boys.
14. Your first crush: what drew you to her?  Christina Pinzon.  Liked her cute face and brown hair and her toothy smile, and she talked to me using normal words and not like I had cooties (3rd grade?)
15. Your first date, where'd you go and how long did it last?  Kim took me out, she drove a beater … bmw I think. We did dinner and made out by the beach.  I am so old I have no idea how that relationship started.
16. How did you cope with break-ups in the past?  Not well?  Still have the H I carved in my hand when Hannah and I fell apart.  Noticed eventually I was a serial monogamist and could NOT be by myself for any length of time.  Longest stretch I did since turning 15 was the year before we met.  Not that I’d be ok if dumped again.
17. What's the best decision you ever made?  Taking the money I’d gotten from getting rear-ended on Hwy 65 and buying a plane ticket to Italy to see you.  Don’t think I would’ve kept it together for 3mos after dating 3weeks otherwise.
18. What decision do you regret the most?  Have to pass on this one. 
19. Proudest moment?  Introducing our new Rosanna to Adam/Mason/Russ/Glenn & Gwen.
20. You've won the lottery: name 3 things you'd do, 5 things you'd buy, go!  Trip around the world, pay Reese & Tammy back for our wedding, take Mel back to Italy.  Buy: OTP’s building and parking lot to make it awesome, Audi R8s for everyone I know, the house from the movie Hostage, a house on property in Italy, 1224 Buena Vista in Pacific Grove where I grew up.
21. House is on fire and you can only grab 5 things:  Mel, Ro, Jazz, my phone, our wedding album.
22. Who would you like to be born again as?  Rosanna’s great-grandson, to see how 2150 is.
23. An argument your parents had, that you'd like to avoid with your partner is: ??
24. The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you was: Hit in the head with a rock on the field, 6th grade.  Or blew that bottle of red wine all in my face and eyes and on my white shirt, sometime last year at OTP.
25. Who are you closer to, Mom or Dad?  Growing up, mom.  Now that I feel all old and achy and tired and grumpy and realizing how similar we are, dad.
26. Favorite song/lyrics: Nelly – Country Grammar.  Takes me back to summertime about age 19, not a care in the world.  Late night cruises to hit on chicks with Erik, cheap gas, no responsibilities.
27. Quick, a magic genie is giving you three wishes:  make me always present, bring me comfort in silence, allow me to die before my kids.
28. What most upsets you in a relationship?  Staleness, separation, sleeping clothed.
29. What makes you the most happy?  Coming home from work, waking up from nap, having my girls around me.
30. What is your perception of how people see you? Unreadable, mellow, grey hairs, loving boss, great hubby.