Yesterday I had a kind of revelation. A funny sort of observation that neither made me happy or sad, it was merely a "notice".
It has to do with kids (shocking, I know) and the way we urge them to learn, urge them to show off their new talents and skills. I love watching Ro learn. She's just so good at it! When she gets her mind set to say a new word, she intentionally watches my mouth and works at mimicking the shapes and sounds I am making. I get such a kick out of it, not to mention how easily I am awed by her. It's so exciting, in fact, that I then go about 'showing off' my accomplishments. It's something like, "Look everyone! We made this kid and look what I taught her to do! It's she just the coolest? Aren't I just the coolest for having a kid like her?"
So I guess the purpose of this post is to remind me that I can let her stand on her own. It's to remind me to stay present to my need to put my own inadequacies on my kid. And my need to prove myself. Then to perhaps make a new choice.