Do this! Now do this! Awwwwww.

Yesterday I had a kind of revelation.  A funny sort of observation that neither made me happy or sad, it was merely a "notice".

It has to do with kids (shocking, I know) and the way we urge them to learn, urge them to show off their new talents and skills.  I love watching Ro learn.  She's just so good at it!  When she gets her mind set to say a new word, she intentionally watches my mouth and works at mimicking the shapes and sounds I am making.  I get such a kick out of it, not to mention how easily I am awed by her.  It's so exciting, in fact, that I then go about 'showing off' my accomplishments.  It's something like, "Look everyone!  We made this kid and look what I taught her to do!  It's she just the coolest?  Aren't I just the coolest for having a kid like her?"

What are we up to as parents?  I can only speak for myself, so here goes.  It's true that I love showing my little one the world.  We are going to the Sacramento Zoo this weekend and I can hardly wait.  I want to see her face when she sees a flamingo for the first time and watch her while she soaks up what a real giraffe looks like. But a funny thing happens when we go out to see people we know, I get this urge to prove her to everyone.  To show them what she can do, as if that qualifies her worth as a person.  The silly thing is, I know that she doesn't need it.  I know she is perfection regardless of her abilities, her personality or her willingness to perform.  I could not love her more, just as she is.

So I guess the purpose of this post is to remind me that I can let her stand on her own.  It's to remind me to stay present to my need to put my own inadequacies on my kid.  And my need to prove myself.  Then to perhaps make a new choice.