Hmm, is "wifery" even a word on it's own? I think no. I like to think of myself as a wife-in-training. This is a learning process that is compounded by our decision to also raise a child. I love the old fashioned ideas of service and I simultaneously struggle with our agreements for me to do so.
I love to cook and I love to be proud of my living space. I am not, however, an enthusiastic cleaner. I get laundry done...and folded a day or so later. I get lunch and dinner made....and dishes done days later (as in, I need a pot to cook with, so I guess I should clean up). So I have yet to perfect my status as wife.
My new motto? Just do it.
My brain goes like this, "I reeeeally am liking sitting here. I'll do dishes later." and my motto goes, "Don't even think about it, just do it". It really works. There is no internal conversation and the job gets done.
My job title means that I am responsible for: keeping a clean house, laundry, food and unmentionables. The result of my best effort at these tasks is a tremendously happy husband. All it takes is my best effort. He doesn't care if it's not done to perfection. I don't mean to sound crass, but I think it's really that simple to have a happy husband. Men don't require lots of complicated song and dance. Do these few things (including loving their children, if you have them) and they will "swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade" as Dr. Laura would say. If you (as a woman) have ever had the chance to love a man in this way and have given and honest chance to this philosophy, you know what I mean.
I have a suspicion that the message in our world lately is that taking this position of service is somehow demeaning. It's too bad because I think the rate of divorce can be attributed to this in some respect.
I am not going to sit here and tell you I am a pro (yet). I struggle with staying on task and I battle laziness. I am clear about what it's going to take, however. And when I pull it off, I get the doting of my husband, his glowing smile and his willingness to take care of my every need. It's a pretty sweet deal.