In high school I was crazy uncomfortable. I physically dreaded the summertime because it meant I couldn't hide under my clothes anymore. I loved the cold rainy months that let me hunker down in a sweatshirt and become an undefined shape. Summertime meant the reveal of my flaws and my chub. Something that, in high school, doesn't earn you popularity points.
Since then my unease has led me into the gym and into 10 day cleanses. Twice E and I have done the Master Cleanse. I felt amazing afterwards. My brain felt clearer and my body looked thinner. I actually wanted to eat healthy foods and my self esteem went up. It was wonderful. It's probably the best I've looked (according to industry standards) ever. I weighed 160 pounds.
After the baby I am a mess. I weigh 215 pounds. The ironic part is that I care less about my self image than I ever have before. I can't imagine what I was so unhappy with when I weighed 40 pounds less.
Maybe it's because I have something else to put all my focus into. It's no longer about me.
My body has brought me to the top of Half Dome and back down again.
My body has run 13.1 miles twice.
My body has covered 26.2 miles in 5 hours.
**pics are MIA**
My body held and grew a new life.
My body pushed that new life out and into my arms.
My body nourished that baby for over a year.
So I guess I'll be happy and proud of my body.