Loving this Cookie

I'll admit it, I am a Top Chef junkie.  While I don't particularly care for the reality-show drama aspect of the show, the rest is just juicy!  The folks in the t.v. have taken note of my obsession and have lined up all kinds of goodies to keep me coming back.  After the regular ol' Top Chef season ended, a new version: Top Chef Just Desserts started up.  Wa-hoo!  Then, after that season ended, another season emerged: Top Chef All-Stars.  Are you kidding me?!  The people in the t.v. have been good to me this past few months.  Three seasons of my show, back to back with enough tweaking to keep it interesting.  Yes!!!!
I started watching the show because I love picking up cooking tips.  In reality, there is no way I would ever make any of the dishes they create on that show.  Not only do I not have the funds to buy their obscure ingredients, I hardly know what the heck it is they are talking about.  I actually heard one guy refer to the few sprigs of grass on his plate as a "salad".  So imagine my excitement when, while looking through the ridiculous number of blogs I follow, I saw a recipe from Eric of Top Chef Just Desserts for his chocolate chip cookie.  And it looked reasonable! 
So guess what I did this evening.....
I usually am not drawn to thin, crispy looking cookies.  I like my chocolate chip cookies chewy with a barely crispy outer layer- but not raw in the center.  Picky, picky.  When I saw a picture of these cookies I was not immediately sold, and I went for it anyway.  The result?  I will always make this as MY chocolate chip cookie.  It is amazing.  I love it.  It is also not intended to support one at weight loss.  You probably assumed that since they are labeled "cookie", I just don't want you to be shocked when you read how much butter is in this recipe.

 

The end result is a bunch of amazingness:

 

Here is the recipe, adapted from Vanilla Sugar blog:

3 sticks butter

1 cup sugar

2 cups light brown sugar

2 1/2 cups flour

1 tbsp baking soda

1 tbsp salt (I used the kosher, the larger pieces made for a nice flavor)

2 eggs + 2 yolks

21oz high quality chocolate chips (I used half a bag of hershey's semi-sweet and half a bag Guittard milk chips)

Melt butter, cool slightly.

Paddle sugars with melted butter.
Whisk together dry ingredients.
Add eggs slowly.
Add flour, mix, add chips.
Bake at 325 for 14 min or until golden brown. 

**No need to flatten these before they cook, they do it well on their own.  I just used a regular ice cream  scoop to measure my dough sizes.

This is the most important part!!!

Don't let yourself eat more than 2 (at the very most!) at a time, you will feel like you ate 20- I speak from experience  :o/

Good Morning

I love me a morning time Ro.  She wakes up in the best mood, everyday.  What a smart girl!  It starts out with a bit of stumbling about.  A bit groggy still, she eventually ends up plowing into me, resting her head on my belly, her eyes closed.  So sweet!  This only lasts a moment, however and she is sitting upright, grinning wide under a mess (yes, a MESS) of wispy brown hair.  Then she moves in for the snuggle!  All smiles and even a bit giggly, this girl gets my day going right! 
I can't say enough about co-sleeping, I love it.  I love knowing she is ok all night long, that she is warm enough and that when she needs something she doesn't have to get all worked up into a cry for her needs to be met.  And of course the morning time.  It's so sweet.  I would miss this amazing bonding time if she was waking up by herself in another room. 

Morning time silliness was captured on film today....love it

Turtles!

This recipe has been traveling around the internet for awhile now, and it is RIDICULOUSLY easy.  So tonight is the night, I'm gonna give it a go!  All you need are the little square shaped pretzels, Rolos (I used 4 packs, it just depends on how many you wanna make), pecans and an oven.

First you preheat the oven to 350 degrees, then line a cookie sheet with foil and put as many prezels out as you have Rolos for.  Then top each pretzel with a Rolo.

Next you put them in the oven for 4 minutes, then pull them out and push a pecan half onto each one.

And VOILA!  Turtles.  You're supposed to let them cool, but I know from experience that they taste just lovely if you don't.

And so it was

     It's over.  Marathon day has come....and gone.  I have mixed emotions, an achy, achy body and I have new goals: try again next year.
     I woke up this morning at 4 a.m. to leave the house by 4:20.  My mind was so overrun with thoughts of the race that I slept terribly. 

**Wait- rewind to 2 a.m. when my amazing husband finished filling my  iTouch with Armstrong&Getty episodes and motivating songs.  What a man!**

      I was greeted with the scent of dog pee when I  got to the kitchen.  Great.  Leia had peed sometime earlier and had paced around in it for who knows how long and it was now tracked evenly across the entire kitchen floor.  Good Morning!!  Again, my hubby was amazing and cleaned it up so that I could leave for Sacramento. 
     The great thing about driving at 4 a.m. on a Sunday is that there are zero other people out.  No red lights for me!  I cruised into Sacramento in record time, only to be stopped up by the thousands of other runners doing the same out in front of the convention center.  It was really well organized however and  I got on a bus (a school bus!  I haven't been on one of those in ten years- wow, ten years) and it took us to the start line in Folsom.
     With an hour to kill, I wandered up the impressive street of port-a-potties.  There were 350 of them, and no I didn't count.  One of the organizers proudly informed us of their huge collection of brown and blue stink-bombs and how that meant we wouldn't ever have to wait to use one.  And he was right.  There was never a time when there were more than 3 people to a line, it was amazing!
     At 7 a.m. the race started.  The sun had come up to reveal a nearly cloudless sky (what luck!) and the air had warmed up, finally!  It is an amazing feeling to stand at a start line with 7,500 other people.  When I say "stand at a start line" I mean: see it way down the road, with thousands of bobbing heads spanning the distance.  Everyone is so ready, so amped, all stretched out and warmed up, ear buds in with tunes pumping into their ears.  No one smells weird yet.  And we're off!!
     It is interesting how things work out.  The way the universe shows up for me when I am willing to put my needs out there.  Three different times this happened to me.  If it hadn't happened three times I would have missed them, written them off a coincidence.  The first was when I was paying particular attention to my aching feet.  My energy and attention to this area wasn't providing relief as all my thoughts were destructive ones: "I'll never make it with this pain", "Well, it was a good try, time to throw in the towel", etc.  Just as these thoughts were choosing for me (i.e. I started to walk) I came upon some spectators blaring "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, to which I replied, "OK!" and on I jogged. 
     The second was on a hill, my quads were screaming and all my thoughts were about how I had SO much further to go and there was no way I could run that far. Then this lady passed me and the back of her shirt said (you're not going to believe me) "GO MEL GO!".  No lie.  Surely a sign.
     Thirdly was when I was at mile 9 and on my iTouch the guys (A&G) were talking about Thanksgiving and all the wonderful things they were making with leftovers.  Sandwiches piled with stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce on toasted bread....soooo hungry......Low and behold!  The mile 10 station was ahead and offering orange slices and bananas!!  Wa-hoo!  Relief! 
     Mile ten would be my last mile.  I had sustained a 13 minute mile for the entire race so far, a pretty good showing- but I was feeling my body breaking down.  My feet were aching, my knees were throbbing, my back and shoulders had shooting pains.  I could have gone a few miles further and I wasn't interested in being totally thrashed or injured.  Two years ago I felt those same kinds of body pains at the end of the marathon, today wasn't my day. 
     And I am happy with it.  I struggled for awhile to be o.k. with my defeat.  I had visions of telling people how didn't finish, how I didn't even get half way.  Then I re-framed it and decided to be happy with my accomplishment.  What helped me the most was a card from Ethan.  I opened it as the race started and it told me how proud he was of me, how I can use this as a training run and he would be ready to come and pick me up where ever the end of my run would be.  I love that man.  His words brought me peace about where I was in my accomplishment and let it be o.k. to not finish.

Next year CIM, next year.

p.s. The winning time was 2:12.  Can you even fathom such endurance?  That man ran a 5 minute mile for 26.2 miles.  He basically sprinted for 2 hours.  Insanity!

CIM. Dang it.

When I was near the end of my pregnancy I had a wonderful idea: sign up for a marathon now, that way I have something to work toward- something to get the extra fat off.  It was a great thought, but who is gonna train for me?  Well, here we are and not one soul has put in any training on my behalf.  Rude. 

I'm not completely training-less.  I did run the Lake Natoma 1/2 Marathon and the 7 miler around Donner Lake...ugh.  I am not ready.  Today I went to pick up my stuff: bib, chip, instructions, etc.  Walking the expo with all the other runners (there are 7,499 others) I felt guilty and not worthy.  What a wasted opportunity. 

Then I got off it.  A call to my loving man was pivotal in this decision.  He reminded me that I can just use this run as a training opportunity for the January half marathon.  No need to beat myself up over it!  So, instead of shooting for the 26.2 mile finish, my new goal is 20 miles.  This would be a great feat for me.  So on Sunday morning, if you think about it, send out positive running vibes to me.  If you're so inclined, you can even track my progress here by looking up my last name.  If you see that I've suddenly veered off the map, well, that means I've called it a day. 

Joyous about Joyful Living

I am joyous.  Tonight, five amazing women converged on my home (six, if you include me) to connect and to unite.  It was wonderful!  It was the first meeting of the Joyful Living Group.  It was a fabulous opportunity to meet other women who are interested in the same thing I am: being a "better person".  Hmm, what does that mean?  Well, so far we have defined it as discovering what is stopping us from the joy that is possible.  Pretty good, huh?  We are well on our way to creating the outrageous lives we are looking for.  For me that looks like: losing 40 pounds, having a regular intimate relationship with my husband, letting my little girl grow into the person she wants to be- with out my fears and shortcomings shaping her decisions.  That last one is the one that gets me.  It gets me right in my chest, tightens it right up and makes my throat burn.  I would give anything for her to grow into the kind of person who makes choices from being empowered rather than from fear. It is my most important goal.  I plan to use the Joyful Living Group to accomplish just that, and I intend to support others to achieve the same- if that's what they are looking for.
Tonight was wonderful because we laid the ground work for open and honest communication and we even practiced it a little.  It was wonderful because all of the women who showed up were willing to put themselves out on the table in a way (I say) doesn't exist in the 'real world'.  I can't wait to see them all again!

If you're local and you're a woman, you're invited to this fabulous event.  We'd love to have you.  Leave me a comment on this post and I'll get you the information. 
I have to thank my wonderful friend Danor again, without her I wouldn't have manifested this group.  She has a wonderful little blog too! I recommend checking it out, her last post is quite powerful...

On that note (Ha! You thought I'd get through a blog post with out posting a picture of my most favorite person) here is a little love for ya!

Joyful Living with Snot-Nose McGee

This is the week!  I decided to start a Joyful Living group and this week is the first gathering.  My heart-to-heart, ego-stabbing friend Danor (whom I love) is the creator of this group.  However, hers takes place in Texas.  So, with her permission, I am creating a group by the same name for the women in my life.  The basis is that we will get together twice a month and support each other in whatever way we might need in that moment.  I am excited about having a group of ladies I can count on for honest feedback and loving support.  I can't wait!  I know it will be an amazing group and I am excited to see what it becomes.

---

My love is still snotty and hacking.  Her poor little throat must be raw!  Naps have been short lived, interrupted by a coughing fit that jars her awake.  Isn't one week of this nonsense enough?   I want to find a machine that will make me as small as a blood cell, then I will crawl  into her mouth, down her throat and find all the nasty spores (or whatever they are) and shoot them with my special laser gun until they are all dead.  Stupid illness.  

Thankfully Ro's spirits are still high.  Like last night, when she was laughing and scooting all over the place until 12:30.  No joke.  The night before it was 11pm.  Not cool.  There is something about leaving all the dishes strewn across the kitchen and groceries still in the bags until the wee hours (well, until the next morning) that makes me feel incomplete.  As if there is a ball and chain that I am dragging around until it gets done, until I can see the kitchen counter again.  It's almost as if the cleanliness of the counter frees up some of my lung capacity.  I can actually feel my breathing get easier and my muscles relaxing.  Last night this did not happen.  We had our fun though.  

We took a bath

Hunted for a little tennis ball

And checked out the tupperware cupboard again

And eventually she fell asleep.  With heavy snoring.  Danged snotty nose!  I will be the first to admit that I COMPLETELY underestimated the amount of energy a baby takes.  I mean, I knew it would be a lot of work (everyone in the world told me it would be, so I figured it was true) but I had no idea how draining it is.  I am thoroughly exhausted at the end of a day.  I love the time with my sweet, smiley baby and I look forward to the few hours of down time (aka time to do dishes, iron clothes, tidy up) after she falls asleep.  So you can imagine that when she stayed up until 12:30, I was wiped!  Needless to say, the snoring didn't effect my ability to fall asleep.