Wednesday, December 22, 2010

10 Months

My baby.  My sweetest love.
We brought home a sweet little lump of a baby only 10 months ago tomorrow, and yet we can't seem to remember what our life was like a year ago.  A year ago I thought I knew what it was like to be tired, but a baby on the outside is a new kind of tired versus a baby on the inside.  I knew it would be that way.  When I was pregnant I always told people that I was excited to meet her, but I wasn't in a hurry because it sure was easy caring for her on the inside.  Boy was I right. 
Her birth-day was the most exciting, exhausting and utterly overwhelming day of my life.  My mother and mother-in-law held my legs while I pushed and they both started to cry when they saw her head begin to show.  "She has so much hair!  It's dark!  Oh, my!"  I was so together until then.  Tears.  I was more motivated than ever to see her for myself and yet I couldn't imagine meeting the person that was making me a mom.  I cannot articulate the feeling of going through labor and then meeting the person who is has changed your life forever.  I knew her already, we'd had months of faceless interaction and honest conversations about my fears.  Holding her was a different story.  My body was vibrating with love, bursting with a fierce desire to protect her from everything and everyone. 

Ten months later, nothing has changed.  And everything has changed.  She has gone from a helpless lump to an outrageous character who is threatening to walk any day.  I am endlessly amazed at the transformation she has undergone in less than a year.  What an amazing amount of growing!  Not to mention she has grown a personality that stops people on the street.  And in the store.  And in restaurants.  We are never with out eyes on us, she goes through life making others happy.  And I get to be her mommy. 

We really can't fathom that we ever thought we were busy.  Was there really a time before baby when I felt like I couldn't get housework done?  Was there a time when I felt like I had no time to keep up on the laundry?  I had no idea how much time I had, I had no idea!  And I would never go back.  Children really do kick life up a notch.  I never knew such purity like that of a baby.  I highly recommend them.